Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Saying goodbye to Alexa

Saying goodbye is never easy but today it was heartbreaking.
We have known all along that adoption comes with a caution. Nothing is final until you go before a judge 6 months after your placement. We know this also from experience. This roller coaster of a ride is not for the faint of heart.

Due to circumstances beyond our control we were told we had to return Alexa.

Today I said goodbye to my beautiful baby Alexa. All day I held her (when she wasn't sleeping), talking with her, listening to her coo and giggle, knowing that 4 o'clock would be here when I blinked. When the time came for Brian to take her to the airport we both cried, looking at her and loving her one last time. Brian is returning her and will arrive home tomorrow evening.

It was one of the hardest things we've had to do. But we will get through it. I am just so sad that no one got a chance to know her. I will miss her smiles and hearing her laughs. But she will be in our hearts forever.


Jenn said...

Oh my gosh!! :( My heart is breaking reading this post. I am SO sorry. :( :(

The Nielson Clan said...

I am so sorry to hear that Amanda. You and Brian are such wonderful parents. Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family. You will get through this too. Stay strong and continue to be healthy for the new little life you're creating.

Jodi said...

Oh my gosh, my heart is breaking for you guys! I could not imagine the pain you are going through! You will be in my prayers!

Sallie said...

Praying for you all. My heart is broken for your family.

Alaina and Kyle said...

Oh Amanda!! I am so sorry!! Just remember that God has plans for you and he knows what he is doing. I hope the other kids are doing ok with this. It is probably more confusing to them. I'm sooo sorry!!

Jill said...

I'm so sorry, Amanda! Prayers going your way for comfort and understanding!!!