A new Label

I've decided to do a new label...
Things that make me go...
AKA
Vents

To kick off this NEW label it's going to be a doozy...

I have a LONG memory, I'm not exaggerating, I really remember things forever it seems. I see people in town that I had a college course with 8 years ago and I can remember their names, their husband or roomates name, if they had kids etc.
I've had LOTS of college classes, that is a lot of people to remember...

Along the lines of my college eduacation, I remember a quote, "you can't see the forrest if you are standing in the trees." or something like that. So I can now look back and know that I did not see the forrest so to speak. BUT I always knew I would be with children and so I fashioned my education as so. I took the courses I would need to help me better myself in that area and for the future. My first dose of reality came a few years ago when my DH and I were having a conversation and the subject of my 19 year old self came up and was described as arrogant...I understood that statement to be true, but in my heart I knew that what I was doing would be better for myself in the future.

So here I am 8 years since college began and 3 since it ended...
I NEVER thought I knew it all, but am a helper by nature and nurture, so when someone needs help asking for it or me thinking they do I offer what I can...

Who would have thought all of those years of prepping to make my job later in years easier would get me to this point?
So now here I am with 4 children in 3 years and honestly the happiest I've been in a long time. Welcoming Parker has been so wonderful.

Here is where my long memory comes in...

At different times in my college experience people have sought me out for advice and suggestions for different topics related to children. Most everything people ask me about I back it up with a this is what I would do attitude and often give resources. Most people were grateful and hopefully took it with a grain of salt...
It is those others that try to make me feel bad or question my answers...almost a prove me wrong attitude.
Someone asked me how much a baby should eat and I responded with what I'd remembered, there are always two sides of me-the one that responds with daycare rules and another that is what I would do...So here it is in the future and this same person says, "I talked to someone who said you should feed a baby this"

ANYWAY now that I am not in school but practicing in real life so to speak my mind gets muddled with daycare and what I would do rules and in my routine day things just work a certain way or they don't...

Recently we talked about putting Halle in preschool. For a long time it was talked about and I was on the, "I can do just as good of job" side of the fence and others were on the side of, "but she needs socialization" and now that it is time for her to go to school I've brought it up that I think she should go to school for the socialization and others are acting like I've skinned their cat!

I guess what I mean is that for people to question me, or not question me but compare or contrast makes me feel less of a mom, and knowing what I do about how others see me in my 4 kids under 3 craziness and remembering comments and concerns that others had in my life makes me go through the day instead of enjoying life and what my job/children have to teach me I question my actions and wonder if it IS the right choice...

I really don't like to doubt myself or feel less of a person for choices that I've made and for some who have that power over people-I know, power I allow them to have-makes me GO...}:<(