Funny quotes

I needed a good laugh today and found these quotes!

The last time I saw you, you were THIS big... but you were on a hill and I was far away.

Go to bed. You obviously have had a very busy day of crazy.

My love for you is like this scar, (points at elbow) ugly, but permanent.

Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?