Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The not so fun side of being pregnant

When asked I can't HONESTLY answer that I love being pregnant. If I am being honest I can say that the experience is NOTHING like I thought it would be, all expectations from hearing stories from others and from what I have read was almost thrown out the window. I could say that with expectations came disappointment and fear.

At the beginning we were DUMBFOUNDED! After TTC(trying to conceive) for 7 years and this happened out of the blue we were in shock! After the shock came the wait and of course the attitude that it was too good to be true. We were literally waiting for a miscarriage. We somehow made it through to our 12th week and got to hear her heartbeat and see her on the screen, it really was amazing. But in the back of my mind I was waiting to be one of those cases where a miscarriage happens in the middle of the pregnancy because this was STILL too good to be true.
When we didn't feel her kicking at the aforementioned time I just knew we were doomed...then we attended our 20 week ultrasound and got to see her again, there she was, twisting and turning and flipping around.

We or at least I walked around in a haze after that, knowing that even though I couldn't feel her that she was in there and growing bigger every day.
At 29 weeks I had the wonderful and AMAZING opportunity to see her in 4D! To get an actual glimpse of the soul I am growing was priceless. Still not feeling kicks or anything I honestly to this point just felt like I was on a BAD diet and gaining rather than losing :D I didn't feel pregnant.

At week 31 we were finally able to feel her kick. I remember the exact place, date, and time. SO after just under 8 months I was able to feel that wonder and joy and relax just a little, knowing that she is REALLY in there.

And here is where I can go back and say, "I AM GLAD to not have had any problems or obstacles!" because I am now feeling the NOT SO FUN SIDE of being pregnant.

We are 37 weeks today or FULL TERM! And my body knows it!
My Gestational Diabetes...I am now on Insulin every night, which makes me sick and I feel like a failure even though I know that it isn't my fault.
My carpal tunnel... has returned with a vengeance after a shot in the wrist a few months ago that cured it for awhile.
My feet...poor feet...are blue almost all day. They are so swollen that they tingle when I walk and sitting down is NOT an option most days.
My face...Yes it is nothing new to learn I have no neck and well here we call it my gobbler :D a double chin/neck BEFORE pregnancy now brings Halloween to me early in the form of a Sumo Wrestler face!
My back...I am sure I can blame it on weight lifting in High School :D trying to out do those boys, which I did succeed in doing but at the expense of my back? OUCH!

These complaints worthy of a country song are nothing new to those that have experienced pregnancy but for someone who had a completely different picture or at least expected things to hit them one at a time not all at once, life has been hard to cope with over the past few days!

So as we approach our last few weeks I can't help but be relieved that as grateful as I am and will always be for this experience I am SO happy that we are almost there!